BobbyDipes

Anne

2007-02-15T08:25:00.000-06:00

This morning on the drive into work was awesome! It is like 3 degrees here but sunny as hell. The sun, I believe, can put you in a good mood after days of sunlessness. Another thing that can change your mood is good no great songs on the radio. It was almost like I owned an IPOD and was able to use the suffle of good songs that get you excited to be alive in the morning.
So I titled this Anne because a song that Anne and I used to enjoy on Friday afternoons while Sarah was at class came on. The song was by Rusted Root called Send me on my way. It is such an up beat and carefree song it just reminded me of all the fun I used to have with Anne. I remember the day that Anne decided that she was going to purchase that cd. She came down to my room and got me. We walk to the parking lot were she kept her PONY, the coolest car ever, and we were on our way. Anne bought the CD and told me that Sarah was never to listen to that CD so as not to ruin the CD as she had with so many other, example the American Pie song. If it wasn't bad enough it was a popular get out of the bar song Sarah enjoyed playing it over and over.
Anyway so on the way back to the dorms Anne and I listened to that song and the others with her portiable CD player. It was a great day a day in which I felt that Anne and I really became friends. Not to say we weren't already friends but on that day we shared something we both liked and from that stemmed many other great times and a bond I feel still last today.
I really miss hanging out with Anne and those carefree days we once had. Anne was and will always be a great friend of mine.
Anne its just like that comedian said when your a kid 1000 laughs per day, high school 400 laughs, college 1000 laughs per day, and as an adult lucky to get 50. Hopefully we can get together sooner than later and share a bunch of laughs. :)

It

2007-01-24T12:00:00.000-06:00

I rolled over and fell out of bed. I smashed my face off the floor, got up and ran out the bedroom door. I tripped over my dog and fell down the stairs. The coffee machine wasn't working, would have worked if the cord wasn't eaten. Went to have tea, looked in the cabinet no tea for me. Got a glass to pour in some OJ the carton was empty and we were out of milk. Forgot to pay the water bill so now I couldn't take my morning energy pill. Todays a bad day just need to go back to bed before I split my frickin head.

Texas

2006-12-09T01:40:00.000-06:00

First off Hello...I haven't posted since June and do I feel horrible but there has been a lot going on. Jen and I are now engaged and are finalizing plans for our wedding Oct 27th '07. Other than that have been really busy with work new management team brought a lot of business so it keeps me busy with lots of OT I don't get paid for. Anyway on to Texas...

So my best friend sold his house and is moving in with his parents in Plano so he can make a new life. A month ago he asked me to drive down with him in the moving truck plus car hauler with his pickup packed to the top in the cab and one of his motorcycles in the bed. I of course said yes, he has been my closest friend for years. You know the kind that if you are sitting in a room with a bunch of people you can have a full conversation with without even speaking. Anyway so we left last friday, many of you should remember this it was after that great snow/ice storm that came through TEXAS, OKLAHOMA, MISSOURI, AND ILLINOIS (these have been capitalized to stress our dumbasses had to drive though all of these states). So we leave friday with a truck that is way overloaded, i have already mentioned one motorcycle, the other was in the moving truck with the rest of his house shit. We started our journey at around 12pm since the roads seemed to have cleared up. About 20 minutes into our trip on I80 we ran into stopped traffic on the way to I55. After a hour and a half we managed to get off I80 and take back streets over to I55, this should have made us turn around. Right before we hit I55 I take the wheel, big bad moving trucker Gene, and start our move south. Around 3:30 we where about 25 miles out of Bloomington when the roads became shitty. There were sheets of ice every where and Joe was freaking out because all we saw was spun out cars/trucks(semi) all over the road. He didn't wan't anything to happen to our truck since we had every possession that he held dear to him in the truck and on the car hauler. I managed to go further to just outside Sprinfield when I decided I couldn't drive like that anymore. So we saw a sign for budget motel but didn't know it was a million miles off the interstate. When we arrived to this sheet of ice parking lot we parked the truck and made our way to the door, got to the door "NO VACANCY". We walked back to the truck thinking we may have to spend the night in the truck when a friendly guy came up to us and informed up that Central and Souther Illinois and Missouri had been hit by and ice storm and that there wouldn't be a hotel available though St. Louis. Well we decided to truck on to a bigger town and see if we could find something there. Our new friend offered to drive us back to the interstate since we were lost now. As we pulled through the ice buget inn parking lot our friend stopped us to tell us something of no importance but did so leaving our right tire in a whole filled with water and ice. Our left tire was on a sheet of it...OH SHIT we were stuck. Luck for us we had a snow shovel and dug ourselves out, but not without scaring the shit out of our pal and his wife. I felt bad the kid was trying to help but we were in no mood since our tip had been cursed from the get. So finally back on 55 we pull into a huge town with hotels out the ass problem was half the town was out of power no vacancy. Joe not wanting to give up ran into the Ramada to find out they didn't have any rooms when someone traveler checked out, Joe took the room and we had a nice place to lay our heads for a couple hours while IDOT cleaned up the roads. For time line we had gone 200 miles Friday in 9 hrs, thats about 6 hrs too many.

Saturday morning 5am up and at em. We were on the road by 6am heading to St. Louis were we where supposed to pick up I44 and take that to TEXAS. I was behind the wheel while Joe and his dog sat there being no help. About a half hour before we hit St. Louis I asked Joe to check the instructions because St. Louis can be confusing when you cant change lanes super fast. Anyway he refuses so when we get there he grab them telling me to get on 255 south... many may know but 255 doesn't go south. See Joe didn't read the next line that said 255 to 270 and 270 about 3 miles to I44. Because of this I stayed on 55 south because it didn't make since to stay on 255 since it goes back towards chicago. I also have to mention that Joe had made the trip 4 times before he drove, he couldn't remember. Needless to say I was pissed. So about 1 1/2 hours down 55 I'm asking did we miss something "no" he keeps telling me 55 runs into 44. MY ASS it does. Anyway his parents call they are looking at an atlas the tell us the bad new I pull off at the next gas station. We gas up I buy an atlas because it will be a cold day in hell if i'm back tracking 60 plus miles there had to be a way. Thanks to the old guy that hangs out at the gas station to give directions to lost assholes he showed me that route 32 connects to route 8 which drive right into 44 by St. James Missouri. Looking at the atlas these roads looked fine and we would be saving ourselves about 2 hours of what could be lost time. Well these routes as it turns out aren't meant for over loaded moving trucks, I swear I felt like I was in the Mountains. That truck had the hardest time getting over some of those hills and I swear at one point I saw a lady with a walker passing us going up hill. This route did end up saving us time but believe me I would have rather lost the time and went back through St. Louis.

We made it to 44, yipeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! NOT. I don't know if it was just this weekend or what but MDOT decided it would be a good idea to stop traffic for snow removal for around 3 hours. When I say we where crawling I mean it. we got off, got gas and some food and got back on and no one from earlier passed us. Finally we got through that traffic but both of us had to go bathroom by then but we made a pact that we weren't going until we were at least 3 hours infront of those snow plows. We stopped right before we his Oklahoma stretched and got back on the road. Our spirits where up and we where moving out until about 5 miles into that great state when traffic just stopped. 2 1/2 hours later we passed a mangled truck that was only 5 miles or so up from where we had stopped in traffic. After that it was smooth sailing. We arrived at his parents house in Texas at 2 in the mooring. that was 20 hours on the road that day plus the day before makes 29 hours of drive time to get to Texas.

WHAT A SUCK!!!!!

666

2006-06-06T11:19:00.000-05:00

Can you believe its finally here? Do you care? I don't but lets have fun. The day of the devil. Everyone Shout Shout Shout at the devil and send him packing. I was standing at the fax machine today and someone informed me that people had actually had scheduled to have their babies delivered yesterday so they didn't have a demonic baby. I could not get over this I think they saw Omen too many times. I thought how cool would that be if Jen had a baby today, we could name him Damon and when he got older get him a tattoo reflecting his birth date 666. But fortunately for us Jen isn't and wasn't pregos.

I'm surprised that I didn't see more on the news today with the Christian groups call for mass prayer services or something so that way the evil spirits wouldn't present themselves. Best joke in my eyes for today would be go to church, get some of those costume contacts that make you look evil wear sunglass pop a couple of alchezelsers start shaking and speaking in tongues. I bet that would freak everyone out. This would be funny.

On the lighter side Jen showed me last night that she may be a peeping Tom. Our neighbors left their windows open last night with all the lights on in their house and where walking around naked like no one could see. I think they were confused with how that works. Bright lights outside dark inside makes it hard to see in, bright lights inside dark outside hard to see out. We got a kick out of it for a minute then went to bed. That was almost as good as my friends parents house and their neighbor. See they live on seven acres our in Indiana but their neighbor is still relatively close enough you could yell hello everyday and they could reply back. Well it seems the neighbor lady likes to do all of her gardening toppless. Seems she doesn't want to get dirt on her shirt, she must not know what a washer is. So my friends dad and mom sits in their house with the binoculars watching this like its a ball game. Not saying I would look but I wouldn't stare either, its not a strip club.

We got it

2006-05-18T09:40:00.000-05:00

We got a new 6 month old American Bulldog puppie on Tuesday. His name may or may not be Samson, his previous owner called him Brindle which is his color. Jen and I like Samson but we are still deciding. He is the most awesome dog not problem child there.

Dog

2006-05-16T11:57:00.000-05:00

So last night I received my 4th call this year from a friend saying that they know someone giving away a free puppy.

Jen wants a dog very very very badly. She is worse than a little kid wants a puppy. She is always asking for a puppy. But because the breeds that she picks out are super expensive I have to save, but I also have to save for a ring and if I asked her which is most important the ring would win. Many people have told me to go to the Humane Society and save a dog. I am an animial liker so don't get me wrong when I say what I'm going to say...Fuck the Fucking Animal Shelters, Society's, and anything along those lines. Here is the reason I've gone to them and they have all said NO because of my/Jen's schedule. They never fully hear me out that Jen leaves later than me, only works 10 minutes from home, and gets home earlier that me. They tell me that its not right for the dog. So my take is they would prefer one of us to quit our jobs and take care of a god damn dog when I wouldn't do this for one of my kids(when I have them). I just hope when they have to destroy these dogs they think of us and how we could have provided the dog with a great place to live.

Anyway so back to the calls, we have gotten 4 calls three of which have fallen through for free puppies/dogs. Last night we got the 4th and this one, if it doesn't work out, will hurt her the most. See she wants an American Bulldog and this so happens to be a 6 month old full bred AB. I am still waiting on the call back especially since they told me they would call me back last night.

I really don't know why I'm posting this I guess I'm just mad because if we don't get this dog I will have to go friday or saturday and buy her a cute little puppy that will end up costing me about $1000.

F

2006-05-09T13:45:00.000-05:00

Why is the letter F so cool? Lets analyze it. The letter F starts out such words as Fast, Furious, Finger, and a multitude of other words that I may know or may not know. My favorite F word has to be FOOD. I love food in fact if I didn't love food I know I'd be very good looking. My other favorite F word that I would have to say I use more frequently that I should is Fuck. I love this word because it can be worked into any sentence no matter what the circumstance whether it is proper or not. For instance "Do you take this Fucking Bride to be your Fucking Wife and do take this Fucking asshole to be your Husband."

Please let me know what some of your favorite F words are.

BUMS LIKE BEER

2006-04-28T13:55:00.000-05:00

While out in Vegas I noticed that their bums are far more happier than the bums her in Chicago. I don't know if its the weather or if its the fact that a few pennies can really get them a drink. We were out on one of our walks down the strip one day when we saw the craziest bum and sign ever. This bums sign read "I won't lie I need beer." What a concept, he was telling the truth. How do I know? Well this bum not only had a sign but a song that went a little like this "Coor light, Miller light, I need beer." You know he was never a sales man because he wasn't lying, Jen and I both found this to be funny but no pictures could be taken because I wasn't prepared. I went back later but Las Vegas PD must have moved him on or he was at a casino bar getting ripped off the couple of dollars that were given to him.

Today someone sent me this pic and I love it because I'm a ninja.

VIVA LAS VEGAS

2006-04-10T14:33:00.000-05:00

Well Jen and I are leaving on Thursday for our week long trip to Las Vegas. I was not excited at all about this trip until about right now. We are going out there for Jen's sisters wedding, I know it will be fun but the first three days we are staying at a resort 17 miles from the strip but located minutes away from beautiful Lake Mead. (That just sounded like the brochoure.) The last three days we are there we are staying at the wonderful Flamingo located on the strip. If anyone ever goes to Vegas may I suggest the Flamingo, it is the cheapest I found and everyone that I know that stays there says its wonderful. I'm very excited because I will be able to get myself a new pair of Elvis glasses. I know I can get them here but there is a guy on the strip that has been selling them for several years now for only $10 and they are high quality. My last pair had a lense fall out in a lake so this time I will purchase as many pairs as possible without getting cracked in the head for being too stupid by the lovely Ms. Jen. We are also going to the Grand Canyon, again very excited because I've never been there. I just can't wait to try and take in something so grand, how do you?
Anyway I haven't posted in a long time and I think the last post was too depressing so I just wanted the BobbyDipes Blog to be happy again.

Disturbing

2006-03-15T08:44:00.000-06:00

Over the last two weeks I have seen two little girls pictures on the news. Both of these little girls were between the ages of 9 and 13. Both of these girls were shot in their own homes from stray bullets, shot by gang members trying to shot opposing gang members. Now remember I said these girls were in the "safety" of their homes. This pisses me off like you wouldn't believe. I cannot stand when children die because of adult stupidity. Actually if you would want to even call them adults. I just don't understand how if your going to shoot at another person how you can't hit them when you are 10 feet away but you manage to kill some innocent bystander 200 feet away. I am just sick of hearing about these pointless killings. I truly believe that when these happen they should force all gang members to watch as they slowly execute the shooter. Some may say that this isn't the answer the death penalty is wrong and it doesn't bring back the victim. Well here is my stand with an example: If you could steal a piece of candy every day and when you got caught you would only have to pay for that candy plus some extra costs, you would probably not mind doing it again. What if in the same situation the penalty was different, the courts broke your hand. You wouldn't steal anymore would you?
I just think that if people knew that there was a harsher penalty than life imprisonment they would think twice before killing some little girl that was at her own birthday party.

Anyway I kind of drifted from what really disturbs me and the is the media and these guys attorney's. They are actually trying to justify what happened. They are saying stuff like the bullet was meant for a guy standing in front of the house and My client didn't mean to hit her. The only thing I like about the medias interviews are the people from the neighborhood saying this has to stop and talking about how we need to get these kids better options and better education. I agree with them 100% but thanks to our leaders that keep cutting school funding so they can fatten their pockets or build some stupid park these kids run low on choices.

In fact I was watching the news this morning and one of the opponents running against our current governor was on and he say that in the current term 1billion dollars has been averted from school funding to fund other state projects. This is why I believe they should give us our tax dollars back and give us school choice, and by doing so making the school choice affordable for all.

Sorry I just hate watching the news and seeing kids dead. Sorry if this got political I hate that.

hello

2006-03-08T11:10:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone that reads this page, nothing new nothing to talk about. I just wanted to say hello.

:)

Morphing

2006-02-09T13:04:00.000-06:00

Ok who watched the Grammy's last night? Jen and I did because Jen is a huge music buff and feels that it is necessary to watch them give people achievement awards. I find this funny because they were giving out awards at the local V.F.W to people that survived wars but she didn't want to go and the only camera was a hand held VHS recorder. They did have that rap it up music which I found to be a little weird because it was Play that Funky Music, the one done by Vanilla Ice.
Anywho I made the VFW crap up, so what I've got imagination and crazy voices.

Anyway did anyone see the Bruce Springsteen performance? If you hadn't you will be happy to know that he has almost successfully morphed himself into a younger version of the current folk artist named Bob Dylan. I have good comparison pics but this damn blog won't let me up load them. Either way it has come to my attention that Bruce actually said that Bob was a huge influence on him and his music. I think this is great because both of them are great song writers and influence most music styles.

I'm sorry pics could not be provided.

Discovery Channel

2006-02-06T12:11:00.000-06:00

Did anyone happen to watch Grizzly Man on the discovery channel either Friday or Saturday night? If you did not you must watch it, look in your TV guides, if you have on demand cable demand it. This is a documentary done by some great director of this guy Timothy Treawill who for 13 years devoted his life to protecting grizzly bears in Alaska called the Grizzly Maze. It was the most interesting documentary I have ever watched. I have not seen March of the Penguins yet but let me tell you if it involves the star of the documentary getting eaten buy the animals he/she loves its not as good. This guy Tim was crazy, he would go closer to the grizzly bears than anyone has ever gotten to a wild bear without being eaten. In one scene he was swimming with a bear, I thought he was nutz. See he would go into the maze in July and leave in September and the whole time he would be by himself with his camera. Tim was definitely crazy you have to watch it to see. I don't want to post anymore unless someone watched it or until everyone whom views my blog sees it. This movie gets two thumbs up and 20 stars.

Edit

2006-01-26T13:17:00.000-06:00

My brian is on freeze
Can I get some dentyne please
This milk I can't taste
I used to eat paste
The rock in my shoe hurts
I like Ernie and Burt
All this stuff in my head
I wish I could just go to bed
Walk the line
Doing Fine
Jumping jacks
Dusty slacks
We all like pears
Chuck Norris can kick the shit out of a bear
This is a stupid poem
When do we go home
I used to like to dive into the lake
Now most people come off as fake

David Bowie?

2006-01-25T08:55:00.000-06:00

For two days now I have had the song Let's Dance stuck in my head. Its not even the whole song just this part "Let's Dance, put on your red shoes..." This is driving me insaine people, why this song? Why not a song that I really like? This has been happening more often than I would like. I'm not a huge fan of David Bowie or anything, you know if his songs on the radio I won't change it but I don't have CD's. The other is a Paul Simon song called 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover this song drive me and my friend Bob crazy at work because all we sing is parts of the chorus.

I feel like I have to partial records spinning in my head and all they do is skip on the same parts and its driving me mad.

My Weekend

2006-01-23T08:35:00.000-06:00

So my weekend was uneventful but interesting at the same time. Ever since I quit drinking I have been able to pick up on the tension that most drunks don't pick up on at bars. On Saturday Jen and I went to this bar to meet a couple friends for drinks and a birthday celebration. We were standing at the bar everyone was talking and enjoying themselves when I overheard the conversation next to me with a bunch of guys. They were talking about kicking someone's ass, I didn't know who at the time but when I hear these things I get defensive and aware that there may be trouble, it may involve me or my friends, or it might not but I makes me get tense. When ever winter is upon us it seems that people want to fight more because there is no outside exercise and nothing to blow off the steam with. Guys are really bad because if there is no ass to get or if your just having an off night the only thing to do is pick a fight. We adventually left this area of the bar and walked into the dance club. The dance club was packed but we found an area to dance and cut loose. There was a party of about 6 next to us, they were younger and really drunk. This kid in there group, this very metro guy, was dancing like an asshole and slamming into me and Jen. He just kept slamming into me and I knew what he was trying to do, he was about the same height as me except he was about 70 lbs less than me. He was trying to show me and everyone else that he was big time and could push me around. Truthfully I don't like to fight and because all he was, was an annoyance I let it go. If I still drank that kid would have been carried out of the bar in a stretcher because I hated him and his arrogance. Anyway some time passed everything was fine until this stupid fuck slammed into Jen. Jen being the tuff girl that she is slammed right back into him, this made him really mad and he swung around like he was going to hit her. Once he realized it was a girl he got up in my friends face, possibly because he was standing closest to Jen or possibly he chose Jason because Jason is barely six foot and looks non threatening. So the kids sister gets in between them and starts dancing with Jason asking him not to do anything, then comes over to me and tells me that her brother is drunk please don't do anything. Meanwhile this kid is rapping some Mike Jones and Paul Wall song like he's hard. This kid grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth and he's acting like he grew up in Carbrene Green (a very ruff neighbor hood in Chicago). So we walked away from that one, walked back into the sports bar and then that other group of guys that I wrote of earlier were drunk and ready to go. Well we are standing by the bar and one of them keeps elbowing my friend Kirk in the ribs then tells him that he is going to kick the shit out of him for something Kirk said to his friends sister 4 years ago while they were dating. To make a longer story shorter we managed to cool it down and Kirk and his girlfriend had to leave early.

I have made some choices:
1. I need to get bigger cuz I don't think these drunks are scared of me .
2. People need something better to do than gather at bars and start trouble.
3. I should have kicked the shit out of the guy that almost hit Jen because its eating me up.

End Now

2006-01-09T13:33:00.000-06:00

This is a personal request from me, Bobby Dipes, to Winter, other wise known as long drawn out depressing time between Fall and Spring. My request is, call it quits, no one likes you so go away. Yesterday it was almost fifty degrees outside, it was the first time since October that I was able to start my motorcycle and get out one the road and feel normal for twenty minutes.

Did anyone ever see Old School? Do you remember Will Farrels character at the first party explaining to the college kid that he had to go to home dept and look for blinds or something? I am afraid that I am turning into that guy. On Saturday Jen and I, in our travels, went to IKEA to look at stuff for the house. To be honest with you I felt like a Sally going there. I'm supposed to be a BIKER, no respectable biker goes to IKEA with his girlfriend or do they?????? Well I must be stupid because people that own homes do that sort of stuff and I have to stop acting like these things aren't macho enough.

Anyway Anne you will totally be surprised who I ran into there. I'll give you a couple clues... he is super tall and stupid... he loves to get drunk and high... he smells sometimes but hides it with tons of colonge...

His nick name is FrankenTim also known as Tim. Surpisingly he snuck up on me, which I always thought would be impossible. So we wound up talking for about 20 minutes and man is his life still not going anywhere. He moved in with his girlfriend, The Saint, and his has a job but doesn't really know what it is that he is doing because he just started training. Tim still doesn't have a license and in 2 years it will be a decade since he has had it. I should definitely not talk about this due to my big belly/man boob situation of my own but that kid got huge. You'll remember that he was always a little hefty but Anne it looks like someone stuck a basketball up his shirt then over inflated it.

Well I had a turkey sandwich for lunch today with some pepper jack cheese, mmmm good. I listened to the radio today on the way to work nothing too exciting.

Why ask why?

2006-01-06T08:42:00.000-06:00

Does anyone remember this brilliant question asked in a Budweiser commercial many moons ago?

Do you ever ask yourself why?

Is this wrong to start a conversation with why?

I listened to the orange pearl jam this morning on the way to work I smiled. :)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2006-01-04T12:13:00.000-06:00

Yes the title is from Ren and Stimpy but my mind isn't. So its been a long time since I made a post here at my blog. I guess part of it is because I've been busy and I'm too lazy to come into work early to make a post. Another part is because I really haven't had anything on my mind or had anything worth talking about.

Well its a new year so that means rolling over goals that I didn't accomplish last year and making new goals to be accomplished this year plus last years and years before that. Basically I'm still trying to finish my Muppets coloring book from 1983. Along with goals comes the resolution...Ah yes the dreaded resolution that lasts for a few weeks then gets swept under the carpet. This year my resolution is the same as last years... loose some weight and get in shape. Surprisingly I used to be a body builder and other than my size, some pictures, and a trophy you would never know. On new years day a friend of mine actually compared me to my father and said "Man you really look like your dad." I said except my gut is smaller and he replied "yes but it looks like you are getting there." This was my friend Vessuccio from Carbondale, he is still gonna be my friend and I really appreciate his honesty.

This year will probably also be the year I ask Jen to marry me. I have given this issue a lot of thought and like Anne have been attacked and bombarded with the questions of when, why, and how come. I like to aggravate these people with senseless replies like "why I'm getting the milk for free?" or "Why you don't make marriage look so fun?" The reason that I will ask her is only the best reason...I love her and I know there is no one out there that can top her. We are a match on almost every level and where we aren't a match its the best because its our differences that make it exciting. I have done a lot of research on the subject, I was single for almost 6 years I know exactly what is needed to make me happy.

I will also be working on some anger issues that I seem to have. This needs to be taken care of because some days I'm unbearable and for the people that have to deal with me all day this isn't fair.

Oh, Christmas was good I got gifts, racked up my credit cards to buy gifts for others, and ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm glad that the holidays only come once a year.

Pop

2005-12-13T12:40:00.000-06:00

Well its finally happening...I'm gonna fucking pop. My rage meters are at their highest levels and every time I think they have gone down someone does something so stupid it makes them go right back up. By the way I realize that the last sentence does kinda follow what Al Pacino said in GodFather 3. Anyway, last Thursday was my uncles wake which was in West Chicago about 50 minutes from my front door. It just so happend that last Thursday was the same day that we got almost 11 inches of snow between 2 in the afternoon and midnight. I sat in my car with my mother for 2 1/2 hours and my blood was boiling and there was nothing I could do about it because any excitement that I ever show there is someone telling me to calm down. So anyway the next day was the funeral, while in the percession my uncle behind me got slammed into by some dumbass sending my uncle into me and me into another car. Not much damage but man I wanted to kick the shit out of that bastard. Then that same day while in some pain from the accident I called my mother to get some info on what to do since I wasn't bad enough to go to the emergency room. Well my sister hung up on me and that was the end, I never knew that cell phones where that crappy because mine blew up when it hit my foot board on my bed.

Well here is my theroy...I think my anger stems from multiple things but I think its really that I've had to bottle up so much anger because of my friend Joe. Joe is the one that has the addiction to pain killers and he is my closest friend in the world basically he is my brother. Anyway I can't blow up at Joe and let him know what a waste he has become and everything else because he already feels alienated from his old group of friends, which he did himself. These are just some thoughts that I had to get out because I can't talk about it without going through about a million different emotions.

I think I need a vaction... :)

11th Birthday

2005-12-02T08:44:00.000-06:00

It is our parents jobs to embarrass us every chance they get. Most notably the family picture album that is shown to new friends, new loves, and old friends at choice moments of your life to make you feel shame beyond shame. Well the year of my 11th birthday my parents expanded their ability by purchasing a video camera and my father did tape every holiday and birthday event. To this day my mother, whom has since divorced my father, still has a stock pile of videos in her laundry room. My 11th birthday was video taped and if I could go back to September 17th a day before my birthday I would kill myself so I would not have to endure the future embarrassment that I would get the next day.

Every kid is excited about their birthday and I was no different. What would I get? Would I get a new CD player? Would I get Nintendo with power pad? Would I get anything I asked for? Well let me tell you about my parents, they are practical. If you needed clothes, you could count on clothes for Christmas/birthday, and other practical gifts. Well around the time I was turning 11 I started going through the "Change" or as many people that speak adult would call it Puberty. As you may or may not know little kids really don't need deodorant up until a certain age in which they start to smell. Anyway my parents had started making me use it and it was going good, you know every once in a while I might forget but then I know adults that forget.

So here we go, my parents had my grandparents over for dinner, which we taped. We had cake, which we taped. Then we had gift opening which we taped. Anyway the gifts were opening ok, getting things that I wanted, honestly I can't remember one thing I got except for on little gift that still haunts me. The final gift I opened was...get this...Deodorant. I was so embarrassed I buried my head in the couch and refused to move. DEODORANT, like that was top of my list. What were they thinking?

Anyway I eventually I got over it until one day I walked in my moms house and my brother had his friends over and guess what they were watching, laughing like a bunch of assholes.

THANK YOU MOM AND DAD FOR A LIFETIME OF EMBARRASSMENT.

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T09:01:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends that read this blog. I am thankful that you enjoy reading the thoughts and ideas from my imagination. I had a pic of a turkey begging that we eat the other white meat but it wouldn't up load due to problems.

Have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving.

Gene

SEX

2005-11-18T12:47:00.000-06:00

No one has to post anything and if this is too much info please don't think badly of me.

How much sex is to much sex with your partner? The reason I ask this question is because last year after I bought the house my friends from Vegas came to stay with me and Jen for 10 days. During these 10 days they got to know Jen and I more than I think they would have wanted to. So one day my friend "Drema" asked me "Gene how often do you and Jen have sex, because it seems like you guys have a lot of it?" I answered her and her jaw dropped to the floor and she asked me "How will you ever know if you love her?" I was blown back by the question because what does the frequency of sex and love really have to do with anything. I came to the conclusion that I loved Jen because we worked on all levels including desire for one another.
Anyway she pulled Jen aside one day while I was at work and told her that Jen will never know how much she loves me unless she stops having so much sex with me. Now I'm not gonna state how much intimate moments we share with eachother but obviously "Drema" thinks its wrong.

So one night before they where leaving we where sitting around chatting with her and her husband when she told us that before they got married they stopped having sex for 3 months to see if they really loved eachother. Personally the only thing I could think about is why? Anyway she dove in even deeper saying that her and her husband have such a bond that they mentally orgasm just looking into eachothers eyes. How weird is that? She then talked about rationing sex so her husband didn't become a sex maniac.

Rationing Sex people what the fuck is that. Did she only have so much and didn't want to waste it? Where they trapped in a bunker? What the fuck?

You should have seen her husbands face at this time he looked and her and said "but I would like it if it was more frequent." Honestly what is this, why do people think like this that sex is for special ocation?

Well I feel really bad for her husband because I know for a fact that they guy before him was getting fucked 1-3 times a night 7 days a week, how bad her husband must feel that his wife doesn't want to jeopardize their love to be too physical.

This was just bothering me today because I thought about it.

EVIL

2005-11-16T15:45:00.000-06:00

Why is everything bad or offensive? Why does it offend people that some of us celebrate Christmas? Why is it bad to smoke at a bar? Why after 9/11 did airport security start searching old ladies instead of young males ages 19-40? Why is it that people always think that they have to do good for the masses when the masses were just fine? Why is it that one person can bitch that they don't celebrate Halloween so a school takes it away from the whole school?

These are a lot of questions that I don't expect answers on because I really don't care. I am just sick of everything that used to be ok is now considered wrong. Also I am trying to stay away from a political discussion because I fucking hate politicians and think the only thing they care about is themselves. They purposely pit us against each other to keep us occupied so we don't know what they are doing with our money and our freedoms.

I'm sorry I have know idea what I'm even talking about because I'm preoccupied with how pissed off I am about being pissed off.

This Swing May Not Be For Me

2005-11-09T08:41:00.000-06:00

Ok, this may or may not have happend to anyone I know before or maybe it has and if so you might understand where I'm coming from.

So yesterday I get this text message from my friend, will call him Jerry. The text message reads "Have you and Jen ever talked about swinging?" Now at first I started laughing because I didn't think he was serious because his wife and him are very jealous people. So I text him back "Yes, but I doubt we would go through with it." It is true Jen and I have talked about this. Well he texted me back with "Well me and the wife have been talking about it and we would like to do it with a couple we know."

At this point I know its not a joke and start thinking, one I've known this kid my entire life, two he as two little kids, and three I'm not that attracted to his wife and I know Jen isn't that attracted to him. So I texted him back with "Basically I don't think thats something we could do because you have kids and I don't think Jen is up to it.

After that I called him and told him that it wouldn't be good policy because of how close we are and that I wouldn't want something like this on my mind if it ruined their relationship.

Jen and I laughed about it.

UTZ

2005-11-08T08:35:00.000-06:00

Well I can't sleep anymore. I have had sleep problems for the last 8 or so years and the past two weeks its been getting worse. Five years ago I gave up drinking because when I wouldn't drink I would stay up for up to 40 plus hours. The doctors told me that because I drank so much, to control my depression, that when I wasn't drinking I was going through my own little detox. Anyway I would like to tell those doctors and pyscologists to go FUCK themselves because what's wrong with me know. How do explain all my sleepless nights? Everyone keeps telling me to go to one of those sleep clinics but here's the scoop, my grandfather, my father, and my two brothers all had/have the same problem as me. In fact my grandfather had spent a few nights at a sleep clinic and they couldn't figure it out. Anyway today I have been up since 3:30 and I will be going nuts by noon. So how is everyone else? Anne glad to hear that the computer people are fixing you up.

TEXAS

2005-11-03T08:42:00.000-06:00

I do not like Texas. The reason I don't like Texas is because it keeps taking my friends. The other day my best friend, Joe, calls from Texas and tells me that he is coming home to sell his house and move there. Before it never bothered me that my friends moved but this is the straw that broke the camels back. I will no long have a friend that is on such the same wave length as me that we don't need to even talk to understand what we are thinking. I must admit in plain english that I will miss my friend Joe. Joe and I have been friends since the age of twelve, we were the kind of friends that were instant friends. However this move will be good for him because since he kicked out his fiance in April he has been on a downward spiral. He got addicted to pills and it is going to kill him if he stays because all his "new" pals are addicted to. Anyway everyone have a good weekend, I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Screw IT

2005-10-28T11:19:00.000-05:00

Today is a bad day so I say SCREW IT. F!@# Friday and F!@# the weekend because its just ruined anyway. Screw you bad day you suck and so does your mother if you had one she would be sucking dick in hell. Anger is what runs through my veins today, in fact days like today are the only ones that I want to get so piss drunk that I forget everything bothering me. The only thing that keeps me sober is good sense.

Depression

2005-10-26T12:50:00.000-05:00

Why is it all roads lead to depression? Drink, depressant. Smoke Herb, depressant. Break up from significant other, depressant. Life is going fine then you lose your job, wife/girlfriend gets pregnant, and the only job you can find is working at McDonald's for $7.50 per hour...DEPRESSANT.

Basically have you ever noticed that doctors and everyone else always says this or that is the cause of depression but the list seems to go on forever. What makes people happy? What makes you happy? How do you make others happy? Have you found the light in your dark room of depression (I am not talking about Jesus either)?

Here are my answers in order:

Sex, name one person that isn't happy after they get some.
Again Sex, its like a warm glass of milk when you can't sleep.
I'm a goof, I hope that works.
Yeah but sometimes the bulb is out

Squish

2005-10-12T09:36:00.000-05:00

While I was in high school I gave my mother the nickname Squishington and called her Squish for short. I called her this because my mother has squishy cheeks that I like to pinch. I also like to squish many other peoples cheeks for example Anne and babies. I believe that babies store food in their cheeks like chipmunks and use that food for later when they get hungry and there is no one around to feed them. Anyway I got my mothers nickname from this show that was on Saturday mornings called "Bump in the Night." It was about a monster that lived under a boy's bed and ate all of his socks. His best friend was a monster that lived in the bathroom and was a need freak, his name was Squishington. You can buy the dvd at Walmart for like 10 bucks and if you have kids they will like it because its an amusing show. I know what you may be thinking, you watched Saturday morning cartoons in high school. The answer is Yes and I still do because I like to escape reality. Anyway here are the pics of Mr. Bumpy and Squishington, Squishington is the blue guy.

PETA

2005-10-11T08:16:00.000-05:00

I don't like PETA don't ask me why I just don't like this group. I like animals but can I do so without liking PETA? I have nothing else to say other than that.

Wait...Nope still nothing to say.

OH! I do have something to talk about, Rice Krispy Treats. I love Rice Krispy Treats so much I could eat them once a week and not get sick of them. I like when they have tons of marshmellowy goodness in them just like mom used to make and still does from time to time when she's not busy doing other wonderful Squishington things. Rice Krispy Treats are almost as good as mashed potatoes.

Thanks for the Laugh

2005-10-04T12:11:00.000-05:00

Well today I want to talk about a blog that I think everyone should visit if they need a good laugh. You need not know what these ladies are even talking about and you will grin at their comedic sarcasm and their wit. Months ago my friend Anne invited me to check out this blog that her and two of her friends are doing. At the time I never heard of a blog and I didn't even know what to do with a blog. Anne explained that its like a journal or web site that you get to do and say what ever you like. Since then I have enjoyed reading everything that is put up on penny candy. I also feel like I made two new friends named Lindy and Melissa whom often post comments on this site too. So if you read this and haven't checked out their blog get off your ass and take a look. www.pennycandy.blogspot.com

Thank you ladies for all the laughs and I look forward to more laughs.

Who Ever Smelt it Delt it

2005-09-30T09:25:00.000-05:00

Is this Tom and Oprah having a farting contest? It looks to me that Tom has farted himself right off Oprah's chair. If Oprah laughs any harder she might dookie herself...maybe thats why she wore the tan pants.

Look at this one Tom puts the Farting Preacher to shame. Watch out Tom don't blow an O ring!

Ok so here is the deal, I'm 28 and yes the word fart still makes me laugh. Example:
Whats that smell? Tommy farted. I'm on the ground laughing because 1 that was funny as hell and 2 much like heat farts rise.

Have a rosey day

Gotcha

2005-09-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

Well spammers lets see you post now that I have the word verification thing. What's that, you want me to check out your site cuz mines so cool. Guess What? I think not, you piece of crap. Yes I know that my blog is pretty cool and people would like it if I visited their sites but I choose to only visit the ones of people I know and GS2insure1 I don't know who the fuck you are. So spammers I am going to have to moon you and give you the finger...

No my butt does not look like the moon...yet. And no I am not an old lady but come on she looks funny giving you the finger with that afghan on her lap and all. Everyone that visits the Bobby Dipes blog dance and rejoice for we have beaten the spammers. Now we must move on to the telemarketers.

Loving you is easy cause your beautiful doo da doo.

Wake Up

2005-09-27T13:33:00.000-05:00

So today I woke up at 3 am and didn't get back to sleep until around 5:30, about a hour before I had to wake up. During my time up I enjoy watching tv and drinking milk, I find that it calms me down so I can fall back to sleep. Anyway lately I have enjoyed watching X Files, which is weird since I couldn't stand the show when it was on. Oddly enough I get spooked by the things/topics of the show. I realy don't know if its because my brain isn't fully functional at that point or if my over active imagination gets the best of me. I'm not saying I'm scared but spooked, for example seeing a shadow moving out in front of my house only to realize its the tree blowing in the wind. I think I allow myself to get that way because I believe that there is more out in the universe than just us. Its a very comforting feeling believing that we are the only superior species and that other than god there is nothing more powerful. Well unfortunately I don't believe that to be true. I believe that there are greater beings than us and if they decided they needed a human for their zoo they could come and snatch you up. Do they visit our planet? I doubt it, maybe on rare occations but I doubt any being would like to visit here.

To be honest I may just be another dumbass that buys into this whole alien thing.

Spammers

2005-09-26T09:22:00.000-05:00

Ok, so where do these people come from? They are worst than telemarketers and what makes them worst is you can't fuck with them. At least when that telemarketer from India calls you, there is a chance you are going to hang up with a smile. I have to say that I probably delete 400 spam emails a week and know they have leaked over to my blog and other peoples blogs. Spam is like cancer starts in one place and spreads to everything else. Well I lost my train of thought plus this sucks what can you really say? I HATE SPAMMERS! Said it know I'm done.

Could It Be?

2005-09-22T08:50:00.000-05:00

I do not watch much MTV but a couple months ago I was watching and saw this video by My Chemical Romance. I could not get over how much the lead singer reminded me of Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins. They look so much alike its scary. You may not want to believe it but they do which I will show you in a couple lines. I asked Jen to look and see if I was correct and she told me I was retarded no resemblance. But today they had a new video on and when I pointed it out again to Jen she agreed. I even pointed out the similarities between the two bands musical sound. here is my example please review carefully.

unfortunately I couldn't get a better pic of Billy but can you see it? Is this Billy's brother, cousin, distant relative twice removed, or could it be his CLONE? Since I am some what crazy I am going with the clone story.
See years ago before the Pumpkins made it to the big time the government approach Billy Corgan and asked him if he would like have a clone. Of course Billy agreed because he believed that one of him was not enough for the world. So the government cloned him and from the clones age of 5 Billy groomed him after himself throwing in some things to make him slightly different so the public would never know. So know Billy has twice the fame and fortune and is experiencing two things at the same time. One being a rise in the music industry, which he has had before, and the other being a down fall in the industry because of a group called Zwan.

Please don't take this comparison as a cheap shot at Billy or My Chemical Romance, I just think that its freaky how much they look alike.

Tuesdays will be the greatest

2005-09-15T12:35:00.000-05:00

Ok this fall Tuesday nights will be a true gut buster night. NBC has two shows, one new and one 2nd season, called My name is Earl and The Office. Anne has already posted something about The Office on the Pennycandy blog site. If the following pic doesn't make you want to watch it I'm sorry watch anyway.

This is Dwight he is the kiss ass back stabber of the office. I bet we all know someone like this except maybe not with such cool hair.

The other show is My name is Earl starring Jason Lee. This guy has been funny in every movie I have ever seen him in. In this show he looks like a complete looser but the clips I've seen are funny.

The show even has the super fat kid from American History X in it but he lost a lot of wait. This looks like it will be a funny show.

Thats it everyone remember to tune into NBC starting September 20th at 8pm Central you will enjoy it.

The Light

2005-09-14T09:08:00.000-05:00

I have seen the light...now I'm blind. I think that I have found something that I have been looking for but didn't know that I was looking for it and found it in the strangest place. Two weeks ago I was normal, I had a normal family, normal girlfriend, and a normal motorcycle. Today I still have all of it, that's right nothing has changed since I found that little something in the strangest place I've ever been. The adventure started on a Monday ended on a Friday and resumed the following Monday. Funny because I guess you could say that the adventure truly started when I graduated from college or maybe it was when I was born. See I was born in a barn to a family of Billy goats from Texas but took their permanent residence in Panama. Life was great sitting in a pasture eating grass all day until the farmer realized I was a boy and that I would make him no money. He sent me to his cousins in Ontario, Canada but was shipped to Chicago once he found I couldn't ice skate. Once in Chicago I was able to get a job selling donuts to bums on the street corner from 2am to 6am on weekends. Needless to say I didn't make that much money but it turned out to be a good thing because on the morning of September 3rd 1982 a young lady walked by and offered me a job running packages to drug lords. It was during this time that I discovered my nack for taking out garbage. I quit running drugs and got a job in china town for this restaurant the Dragon Palace Inn. It was sweet cuz they had lots of garbage to be taken out and I got to eat all the egg rolls I wanted for half price. After I saved up enough money I went to college to become a sanitary Engineer, better known as a garbage man or garbage person. So once I graduated college I got a job with a waste management company picking up garbage 5 days a week. I have always found neat stuff in other peoples garbage but it was two weeks ago that I found this pamphlet on Astro Physics and ceramic plate design that changed my life. I realized that if I went back to school to study astro physics I will also be able to double major in ceramic plate design. Basically here is my idea, I'm gonna figure out how to fly a giant plate to the moon while picking up garbage on the way. I also had a chance to find god but when I got to his door there was a sign that said "I'm not lost please don't look for me anymore." Weird!

I'm Pissed

2005-09-08T08:37:00.000-05:00

Man am I pissed today. I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed or something. I think it started yesterday when this little fuck cut me off before I was going to turn right and made me sit through another stop light. I honked at this little pissant and yelled "Hey asshole I was gonna turn!" He just sat in his car and smiled. I wonder if he would have been smiling so big if a 250lb 6'4" angry mother fucker would have gotten out of his car pulled him through his window and knocked all his fucking teeth out...hmmmm I do wonder. But I couldn't do that cuz it would be off to jail and I couldn't afford to go I still owe like 2 million dollars on my gas card they'd probably make me work it off from jail. That would probably only take 700 years. Another thing that's got me smoked is this damn weather. Everyday they call for rain so I have to use my gas guzzling car instead of my gas conservative motorcycle. Guess what? IT HASN'T RAINED A FUCKING DROP ALL WEEK BUT THEY KEEP CALLING FOR IT. Then there is the Hurricane Katrina victims. I feel so damn sorry for these people if I could refinance my house and give them all the proceeds I probably would. These people don't piss me off because they have all the right in the world to complain. Here is what is pissing me off the most, the fucking Celebrities. Why do they have to hold a press conference to tell everyone how much they are donating? Can't these selfish pricks do anything without saying "Hey Look at what I'm doing I'm a humanitarian." We have poor people donating $100 which is a huge sum of money and then you have Celine Deion donating $1 million and she's a saint. Sorry, WRONG, $1 million is chump change to her. She wears jewelry that is 3 to 4 times as expensive. So Celine don't go on TV and cry because the people donating $100 have more to cry about. I wouldn't want to leave out Sean Penn, he is a joke. What happened he sobered up and suddenly what he says matters fuck him and his fat brother.
Ok now for the big dogs. This Brown guy head of FEMA, this asshole should quit. How in the hell did we have people helping Tsunami victims 2 minutes after it happened in a foreign land and it takes 5 days to get to Americans in our own country. Tell me we are not the laughing stock of the world. Everyone is finger pointing back to Bush and this dummy is like "Who Me?" Yeah asshole and we are singing the cookie jar song. For once can't we as a country stop blaming someone else, pull together and help these people that are now starting to die from the ecoli in the water. And can someone, namely Brown, step up and take the blame and stop saying well I take my orders from the president.

Well I'm running out of steam because I don't want to have a heart attack here at work so I'm gonna go. By the way I hate politics and I don't ever like to talk about them so this was a one time thing and I apologize in advance.

Fuel

2005-09-02T08:36:00.000-05:00

I don't know about anyone else but I am getting sick of these emails about GAS, how to save it, how to screw gas companies, and how to stop terrorism through not buying gas. The other day I got 6 different gas emails. I know that gas is important and that the price hikes suck but to say to buy from one company will force down prices or buy on certain days is crazy. If you take a good look at the through econmics you can see that there is no way to force down the price of gas other than to lower demand. See the two most recent ploys at lowing gas prices don't effect demand they are just making you jump in circles. Ok think about this one were they tell you not to by from Exon and someone else. The email says that by going to all the other gas stations Exon will have to lower prices...WRONG. Exon does not have to just sell gas to Exon dealers/distributers so when the other gas stations call Exon because they cannot keep up with demand because their supply is going to grow short Exon will sell from their supply and probably sell at a higher rate thus increasing gas prices. Sure we may see Exon stations at first selling gas a little cheaper but they will only go so low before it hurts bussiness.

If people really want to lower gas prices they can either force the oil companies to increase supply and flood the market so that we can see $1.75 gas prices again or we can buy cars that burn less fuel, car pool, walk more, and so on. Basically we control demand, thus it is our decision to use less gas or eat the high gas prices. All this is, is basic economics supply and demand. There will always be a demand for fuel and that is a constant but how much we demand is a direct effect as to how much the oil companies can charge. The minute they talk about shortage we are screwed just like the 70's where they saw 500% gas price increases, which we haven't even seen.

The number two

2005-08-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

Ah, two posts in one day. I am back from my field trip with my boss, and I am very happy because those pants that I talked about earlier danced right out. I'm a little sad but a falcon flew in my thoughts and dropped little bits of imagination on my brain...maybe it was poop. I like that word...POOP. It doesn't even have to roll off your tongue, POOP. If you were born without a tongue you could still say the word POOP, though I doubt this would be as funny as it is for those of us with tongues its still POOP. The spelling may or may not be correct but thats ok because I have POOP on my brain today. If you don't like it go ahead and turn away because this may cause you to have a POOPY day. You could ask my age but you wouldn't believe that a 27 year old could think about posting POOP on his blog. Please don't underestimate Bobby but with the last name Dipes how hi could your hopes have been.

Part 2

When I was in grade school, before Jr. High I had this gym teacher named Ms. Bartlet she was once married but I think she went to the stereotype of the gym teacher. For those of you that don't know what that stereotype is, she may or may not have been a lesbian. I think when we are in grade school once we figure out the differences between sexual preference we like to speculate about everyone. Honestly how many of you thought you grade school janitor actually lived there. Maybe I'm on my own on that one. Jen's dad is a janitor, I have never met him because Jen hates him. I really don't care either.
Back to Bartlet. I enjoyed going to gym every day, learning how to Dosie Doe, juggle, and do gymnastics. Amazingly my oafish body was quite limber and I turned out to be her prize pupil.
Anyway thats just a memory that I wanted to share with you.

You are my sunshine, you are my rain, You make me happy when blue skies turn gray, You are my sunshine.

I like that song, it is up beat and positive. I think that from now on I will be very positive about everything, it seemed to work out for Mr. Rogers and look how great his life was.

If two little bunnies hop down by a brook and one of those little bunnies step on a fishing hook, Who is to blame? Do we blame the fisherman who carelessly left a hook by the brook? Do we blame the fish for not swallowing the hook, that probably made the fisherman leave the hook by the brook? or Do we blame the bunny for not watch where the fuck it was going?

Pinta

2005-08-25T10:56:00.000-05:00

Someone please sedate me. Give me a tranquilizer or something. I'm getting sick of thinking thoughts of thinking pants doing dances in the sky thinking of why they don't do the meringue.

I gotta go my boss needs me to walk her to lunch. To piss her off I will moon walk with her all the way over to the other building.

Quitter

2005-08-23T09:17:00.000-05:00

This morning I watched my TIVO' d ultimate Fighter. I loved this show last year and will most likely love this show this year. It is not your typical reality series because everyone on the show is there to kick the shit out of eachother. I am pissed today because of the events that went on last night on the show. Last nights episode was an evaluation of the fighters and they were going to eliminate 2 fighters, one from the welter weight and one from the heavy weight division. They where only on day 2 when one of the heavy weight guys quit. He was crying to the coaches and the president of the UFC on how he didn't feel like he should be there and he felt like he was in jail with all the cameras around him. So this fat pussy just quit, got up and walked off the show. He gave up the opportunity to see if he could be the best of the best plus get a 3 year 6 figure contract with the UFC.

Sorry for the vulgar language.

On to the second guy, the coaches actually cut this guy because they didn't think he had what it takes to make it as a professional fighter. Once they told him he was the weakest they gave him the opportunity to fight another guy in his weight class and if he won he would stay on the show and the other guy would have went home. The only problem was this guy was 20lbs too heavy and had to loose it in 2 days. Anyone who has ever wrestled or had to make weight for anything knows this is very possible. So a couple of this kids teammates and his coach try and help him. This wuss made it down to within 5 pound of his needed weight and quit. He had three hours and could have made the weight no problem. Well obviously he quit, after people put faith in him, devoted time to help him succeed, and all he could do is quit.

The reason for this post is I don't understand how people could work so hard and give up so much to quit when their goal is 2 steps in front of them. The funniest thing is they had support and they still quit. When I trained for the only bodybuilding show I ever did and will never do again, I really had no support. My family could not understand why I wanted to build up all that muscle and then dangerously diet down to under 5% body fat. My friends kinda supported me but really didn't understand why either. For me it was a goal, something I wanted to try and believe me it wasn't easy. So this morning as I watched this I wanted to puke, I would have gone to the bathroom and killed myself if I on day before the show I pussed out.

Again I am sorry I just can't stand quitters. Yes I quit drinking and yes I quit smoking but those were good things to quit.

Window

2005-08-19T10:29:00.000-05:00

Am I insane? Why do you keep looking at me? You sit there starring like a little asshole, don't you have anything better to do? Get a fucking napkin at least your saliva is dripping on the damn carpet.

You like me starring at you, you did not mind before. I had you in my grasps for five years did you think I would let you slip away that easy. Its been five years on this very day and I can wait another five, you will know me again some day.

Fuck you! Ya piece of shit. My soul is no longer yours but maybe later you can rent if from me for $14.95 a day.

Really? Wow, that is the nicest thing you've said to me in years. Would this be anytime soon?

Naw, I was thinking maybe once I retire or something like that. The price is subject to change due to inflation or the value of the dollar against the Euro.

Alright. Hey you don't mind if I continue to stare do you? I really have nothing else to do.

Go ahead, I think I'd miss ya if you didn't.

Hello

2005-08-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

My mind is once blank again and I cannot find anything to write about. I think I may have a stalker, an ex-girlfriend of mine got in touch with me through classmates.com. She actually paid money to email me. I let Jen know because I don't keep any secrets from her especially ones that could get me in some shit. Jen appreciates it but sometimes she says my honesty is too much. Anyway I emailed this girl back to nice but I definitely don't want to make her by pen pal. Luckily she live in Florida now so I will not have to worry about any stop by visits. I wonder if this is normal. I'm sure we all wonder about our ex's at some point but isn't this going to far. Its almost as if I have always found myself dating the stalker type woman. They all dump me but if I run into them or they hunt me down years later they always ask to give it another shot. Thank god this one hasn't done it and if she does I will break all communication letting her know that I am in love with Jen. Well thats all thats new.

I Eat My Pizza With Hot Sauce

2005-08-05T08:20:00.000-05:00

Good Morning Everyone, It is a great day to start off on the right foot. Heat up a piece of pizza, sprinkle on some parmesan cheese, splash on some hot sauce, and pour yourself a big glass of orange juice. This my friends is the breakfast of champions, just don't tell your stomach about it or your ass they will hate you later on especially if you are a coffee drinker. You may be thinking to yourself "GROSS" or "HMMMM", I am definitely thinking this is the way to start the day. When I was a child my mommy would yell at me because I would and could eat this combo at any time of the day. She did not mind so much the pizza in the morning, nor the hot sauce, it was...the damn orange juice. Through out my life the orange juice and pizza just didn't mesh with everyone, in fact I don't know too many other people that even eat their pizza with orange juice.

Anywho, the same time as the Taco song Ray had found that I liked to eat my pizza with hot sauce, parmesan, and OJ. See Ray and I had a food night just about every night of the week until I had to start dieting for my bodybuilding competition. (For those of you that don't know I competed in one bodybuilding competition while I was in college.) It was the first Pizza night that Ray and I had together and when he noticed my winning combination of extra ingredients that I piled on and what I was washing it down with he came up with the following tune.

"I-i-i-i-i-i drink my orange juice with pizzuuuh with hot sauce and parmesannn, parme Â jon JON !"

These are Rays exact words he emailed them to me this morning.

Well that is all for now. Thank you for coming out have a good day and please try this meal combo you'll love it.

Phone Pranks

2005-08-04T08:29:00.000-05:00

Ok so my roommate Ray and I were very childish in collage. Every Tuesday night we would have taco night and while the tacos were cooking Ray would call some random person and sing the taco night song to them. The song went like this: Oh ya its taco night and I feel alright its time to take a bite of... Taco night... ite...ite. Normally these phone calls would go unreturned meaning that no one would *69 them. Well sometimes when Ray got drunk...he would beat me. KIDDING sorry Bad joke. Anyway when he got drunk around 3 in the morning he would go thru the phone book and select random numbers to call so he could leave crazy messages on peoples answering machines. These where phone prank experiments, the photo below is not accurate I just thought it was funny.

Anyway one night he called this Chinese family and left them the craziest message which involved some very weird noises. We laughed pretty much all night into the next day it truly was that funny. Well the next day this ANGRY CHINESE man calls while I wasn't home and talked to Ray. Before I continue I have a pic for that too. Its Al Pacino and I know he's not chinese but he has played other ethnic roles that Italian.

This is how angry the chinese man was. So Ray answers the phone and the man on the other line says "Larken, Eugene...Larken, Eugene, you call my house late last night you leave animal noises on my machine. I have caller ID I know who you are. I call police." What could Ray possibly do, he had 2 options. 1: Ray could have just hung up and when I got back from class he could have told me the story or 2: Ray could have started making monkey noises and wait for the guy to hang up, then tell me the story. As you might have already guessed Ray chose option 2 and told me when I got back from classs. For the next few weeks this poor family suffered the wrath of Drunk Ray because he would call them every night and make loud animal noises every time remembering to block our number.

KING JAMES BIBLE

2005-08-03T12:46:00.000-05:00

I finally did it. Everyday I get emails from SPAMMERS and have never thought of emailing them back. Today I went on the offensive and attacked the King James Bible spammer. I told them "I don't like King James or his bible." Now I know that my email won't be read and I also know that this person is just doing a job that pays them so they could put food on the table but I don't care. This is very wrong and I have always gotten yelled at for what I do to tellemarketers.
Here is a true story of a conversation I had with a tellemarketer.
It was a Monday night, I was living with my friend Joe and we were just sitting around talking when the phone rang. I picked up and there he was my friend the telemarketer trying to sell me a subscription to some magazine or newspaper. See I think he was a vampire because in our 30 minute phone conversation I told him that I have 4 kids that I have to feed and could not afford the $2 a month for the subscription. (I don't have kids but I am a liar.) He kept referring to the free gift which was some watch that probably would have broke after a week. Anyway we went back and forth with me getting the free gift anyway without the subscription. At the end of our conversation before I just got so bored that I hung up I asked him how he felt about trying to take food from my children's mouths so he could get a commission on this stupid subscription. He told me no he didn't care. Hang up is what I did because he was a vampire.

Please forgive me for this rambling thought, I am at work and for some reason cant concentrate today. Thank you for joining me Have a Good Day.

Stella

2005-08-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

Everyone meet Stella. This funny group of guys has a television show on every Tuesday on Comedy Central at 9:30 pm. If this is past your bedtime stay up its well worth it. This is the shows 1st season and I have been watching it since day one. If you like funny and crazy you will love this show. I don't often promote anything unless I really like it and believe me I can't get enough. The stupidity is just too funny. You will recognized these gentlemen from VH1's I Love the 80's. I want as many people to watch this as I can get because they need a second season. I know its not like the 10 people I know will get these guys renewed but at least you will be able to say, "I was watching the first season." It pissed me off when Dave Chapelle's show became the talk of the office the 2nd season when the 1st season I was running around saying watch Chapelle Show its funny as shit.

I would also like to promote a great little movie called Napoleon Dynamite. If you have not watched this movie drop everything your doing and go rent it. This movie is so funny that if you don't piss yourself laughing you have no sense of humor and should be shot on site.

That is all for today.

Where are you?

2005-07-12T12:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I posted that I lost my crown and that I was toothless for about 2 weeks. The dentist made me a retainer with a tooth on it so now I am good. I lost the tooth in the lake when I was trying to spit water out the at in my mouth. The tooth was already pretty loose. Anne asked me to tell everyone how I lost my real tooth so I will.

Twenty years ago I was a kung fu/ninja freak. I used to watch channel on Sundays with my dad called Samuri Sunday, we also watched a lot of Bruce Lee movies. I would always go around practicing what I saw on tv. I have to remind you I was only 7. Anyway there was this kid named Kevin Sink that my brother used to hang out with, and it just so happend that he was Asian so I thought he must know Kung Fu. What can I say back then I think people in my neighborhood were brought up stereo typing, not that I think this is right but it was the way it was. So there I was walking around the playground thinking about Samuri Sunday and the flying jump kick that I saw. I was thinking it was very possible to fly across the pavement for an extended period of time without falling. Well my friends gravity is a bitch and she always gets her way. There I went running full speed across the playground to give Kevin a suprise jumpkick to the head when it all went wrong. First I jumped way to soon, I must have been 15 feet away when I jumped. Second some how in mid air I found myself to be looking at the pavement, I didn't really think anything about it for all I knew this was how it was supposed to be. Note: When falling always try to brace yourself with more that your face. Third I was decending quite rappidly and did not think to put my hands out. Finally my face bounced off the pavement more than the big red ball we used to play kickball with. When I got up I was dazed and really could put what had just happend together. Then my brother and Kevin tell me that I was bleeding. Oh man was I bleeding, I had my hands cupped together and the blood was pouring over. There was a trail of blood from my accident to the Vice Principal where I told him in these exact words, "I think I hurt myself." He freaked out, he ran me to the nurses office where they rolled up a ton of paper towels and made paper towel cigar for me to bite on. After the bleeding slowed we went to the playground to look for the tooth. No luck finding that thing. Anyway the rest of the story is more gross than funny so I choose not to tell it. But I will be telling more stories different times I hurt myself because I always went to someone and said "I think I hurt myself." Some may wonder why would this guy say I think I hurt myself, the fact that I had a pool of blood in my hand didn't give that away. I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack when it comes too pain. I always takes a while for the bad pain to register.

Vacation

2005-07-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

I'm back from vacation refreshed and ready to post some stupidity on the internet for the world to see. How was my vacation you ask? Well I was home for 10 great days doing nothing. I rode my motorcycle everyday and loved it. After riding I would take a three hour nap until Jen got home from work. I have the worst farmers tan ever. When I take off my shirt it looks like I'm still wearing a white tee shirt. I rode to many different Harley dealerships and have decided that I need a new bike, but I will have to weigh the opptions. See on one hand I would have a bad ass Harley and then would be part the the cool crowd. On the other hand I'm sure Jen would like to get engaged someday and if I bought the Harley I would have to push it back another 3 years or so. Anyway enough talk about that I'm starting to get sick. On Sunday Jen and I went for a 100 mile motorcycle ride. I call it the Iron Butt because our asses hurt like never before. See I'm all about style and comfort has taken the back seat when it comes to my bike. I have 18 inch bars, when I say that I mean they go 18 inches straight up. My seat is about as thick as a dollar pancake and even thinner where Jen has to sit. I also have my bike lowered so much that if I run over an ant you feel it because there is no suspension left. We loved it though, please don't take it as complaining cuz I don't do that when it comes to the bike. Well that was my vacation maybe everyone can come by some time for the slide show.

Sorry

2005-07-04T18:43:00.000-05:00

Well Tee shirt and Handcuffs didn't seem to go over too well. I failed. Sorry it wasn't funny, I wasn't poking fun at anyone but myself because my front tooth fell out in the lake last weekend and I'm going on being toothless for 2 weeks. I thought that the hoosier thing would be a good good twist. I now know this wasn't a good twist. Sorry again.

Tee shirt and Handcuffs

2005-07-01T07:55:00.000-05:00

I remember watching the movie The Fly when I was a kid and thinking man wouldn't it be cool to teleport around my house without the side effects of having my DNA combined with that of a fly's. Well I just wanted everyone to know that last month I completed the first ever teleportation device and now I have been teleporting myself from my bedroom to the tolet in the middle of the night so not to get attacked by any monsters. There is one problem with this machine I beleive that my DNA may have gotten crossed with something. I will back up to when I noticed what may have happend. A few days after my first teleportation I noticed that I could not stop drinking Old Style and the cops where constantly at my house for domestic disturbance. My style changed because I wore the same holey jeans and stained wife beater everyday. Here is the worst part, I actually went to the barber and asked for the bussiness in the front and party in the back hair cut also known as the MULLET. I was getting dumber by the day so I went to my computer and asked it to tell me what happend, however the voice activation barely recognized my voice because I suddenly developed a strong southern twang. The computer told me that my cousin Jimmy Joe, from Indiana, was passed out in the teleportation machine. It said that when I teleported to the bathroom Jimmy's DNA crossed with mine. There it is folks I'm slowly becoming a HOOSIER. Here is the latest update, yesterday I lost my tooth, peed myself, and found myself strangely attracted to a sheep that I bought at the farmers market. I guess I'll try my luck at the lotto. I'll talk to ya'll later.

Paste

2005-06-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

Before I begin, Anne, I will be posting as many cool pictures as possible.

Why is it uncool to eat paste after the age of 7? Is this just a guy thing or did girls eat paste too?
I remember eating paste and not thinking nothing of it. I'm not to sure of the health benefits if there are any. Paste was good. To me it was like a peanut butter samich without the bread. Hell if it was a real ruff day I'd take a shot of Elmers glue like a shot of whisky, ruff going down but good when it hits the belly. I'm not saying that I ate the stuff by the quart but my mom did find it odd that I was going through so much paste. She said "Gene Mrs. Lotti must have you doing a lot of projects." I would have liked to answer her at the time but all that paste was reeking havoc on my speaking abilities. Anyway I think that Mr. T was pushing it at the time saying look at how big my muscles got from eating paste. Even Hulk Hogan was saying kids eat you vitamins, be good to your parents, and eat tons of paste its good.
Anyway its been 20 years since I put down the paste and I miss it more everyday. Sometimes I almost can't wait to have kids but I think that's grounds for divorce if my significant other walked in and saw me eating the kids art project. I could see it now I look up and say "this construction paper is kinda grainy and the purple doesn't taste like grape."

Miss matched shoes!!!!

2005-06-22T08:59:00.000-05:00

What am I doing? I don't know because all I see is that I'm writing something on this post. I feel like a little kid that is trying to do something cool like putting on my own shoes but I've got them on the wrong feet and they are mismatched.
The other day I was walking down the street when this guy in a Godzilla costume jumps out and scares the crap out of me. I said "What the hell are you doing you f!$#ing moron, or was it Mormon, moron. " He starts weeping because I scared him by screeching. Anyway we sit down on the curb and spark up a j, after all that excitement I needed to get my heart rate down. Gary, that was his name, starts telling me why he is walking around in a Godzilla costume in he middle of June. He tells me that when he was a boy he always wanted to work at Chucky Cheese with the other people dressed up in costume playing the musical instruments. I did not have the heart to tell him that they were robots, also this guy is walking around in a Godzilla costume I would let him believe anything at this point. Then he tells me that he wasn't trying to scare me he was hitch hiking because he didn't have a car. Well Gary really moved me with he story so I turned to Elvis and asked him if I could borrow his Cadillac to take Gary to Chucky Cheese.

OH, I should have mentioned that I ate 1/4 of mushrooms and a large pizza before I met Gary. I also always hang out with Elvis so this will explain why this is so different.